mercoledì 23 maggio 2012
mercoledì 9 maggio 2012
The Jerry Seinfeld productivity secret, or simply "Don't break the chain".
"Think for a moment about what action would make the most profound
impact on your life if you worked it every day. That is the action I
recommend you put on your Seinfeld calendar. Start today and earn your
big red X. And from here on out...
Don't break the chain!"
I want to change things. I thought about it and there are at least three components of my life that I don't like at all. I have not been able to change them so far. I have no problem to admit that I was lacking motivation and I was too lazy to take acion. But things have come to a point where if I don't take action, I will succumb to routine and boredom. The other night I was reading random stuff on the Internet when I came across this website, which is not even one of my favourites. I don't even remember how I got to read this article, I only remember I decided to read it because Jerry Seinfeld was a familiar face.
"It works because it isn't the one-shot pushes that get us where we want to go, it is the consistent daily action that builds extraordinary outcomes. You may have heard "inch by inch anything's a cinch." Inch by inch does work if you can move an inch every day."
The thing is, and I can tell this after reading the article, I do think consistency works. I also think that consistency is what I am lacking. I think the best plans need motivation and habit, in order to succeed. I might find some motivation hidden somewhere under my skin (there are times when I feel it so strong, and I always promise myself I will remind myself of that feeling when it is gone) but how do I keep going day by day, through my messed up life?
Crossing a calendar seems like a simple way to keep an eye on your consistency.
"Daily action builds habits. It gives you practice and will make you an expert in a short time. If you don't break the chain, you'll start to spot opportunities you otherwise wouldn't. Small improvements accumulate into large improvements rapidly because daily action provides "compounding interest.""
So here is my plan to fix my procrastination problem.
1) Figure out your goals. It is pretty easy for me to name three goals: quit smoking, exercise everyday, learn Dutch.
2) Set daily minimums for each goal. About exercising, my therapist prescribed three sessions a day, which I have never been able to do. Mostly, I have been doing one session (I feel so ashamed to say this). So I'll set the minimum to two daily sessions. About giving up the cigarettes, there is no point is saying it: zero cigarettes allowed. About studying Dutch, I think it is fair to set the minimum study time to half an hour a day.
3) Set your boundaries and rules. Sick days are sick days, I'll mark them with an S. Vacation days are OFF, I'll mark them with a V. Weekends are included in the plan, no exemptions.
4) Print out a calendar for each goal and label it with that goal. Done. Ready. I'm about to hang them on the wall as soon as I finish this post.
5) Buy a fat red marker. This does not really make any difference to me. I have a million pens and pencils, I think I will like to see a multi-colored calendar.
"Your plan should be so easy that very little can get in the way of your daily progress, so if you're not ready to start tomorrow then you need to go back and figure out how to make your plan simple enough to do so. This process works because it creates good work habits, doesn't require much of you, demonstrates your progress visually every day, and makes you feel incredibly accomplished and productive despite only working for a short period of time."
I'll go hang some calendars. Wish me good luck, I'll let you know how it goes.
Don't break the chain!"
I want to change things. I thought about it and there are at least three components of my life that I don't like at all. I have not been able to change them so far. I have no problem to admit that I was lacking motivation and I was too lazy to take acion. But things have come to a point where if I don't take action, I will succumb to routine and boredom. The other night I was reading random stuff on the Internet when I came across this website, which is not even one of my favourites. I don't even remember how I got to read this article, I only remember I decided to read it because Jerry Seinfeld was a familiar face.
"It works because it isn't the one-shot pushes that get us where we want to go, it is the consistent daily action that builds extraordinary outcomes. You may have heard "inch by inch anything's a cinch." Inch by inch does work if you can move an inch every day."
The thing is, and I can tell this after reading the article, I do think consistency works. I also think that consistency is what I am lacking. I think the best plans need motivation and habit, in order to succeed. I might find some motivation hidden somewhere under my skin (there are times when I feel it so strong, and I always promise myself I will remind myself of that feeling when it is gone) but how do I keep going day by day, through my messed up life?
Crossing a calendar seems like a simple way to keep an eye on your consistency.
"Daily action builds habits. It gives you practice and will make you an expert in a short time. If you don't break the chain, you'll start to spot opportunities you otherwise wouldn't. Small improvements accumulate into large improvements rapidly because daily action provides "compounding interest.""
So here is my plan to fix my procrastination problem.
1) Figure out your goals. It is pretty easy for me to name three goals: quit smoking, exercise everyday, learn Dutch.
2) Set daily minimums for each goal. About exercising, my therapist prescribed three sessions a day, which I have never been able to do. Mostly, I have been doing one session (I feel so ashamed to say this). So I'll set the minimum to two daily sessions. About giving up the cigarettes, there is no point is saying it: zero cigarettes allowed. About studying Dutch, I think it is fair to set the minimum study time to half an hour a day.
3) Set your boundaries and rules. Sick days are sick days, I'll mark them with an S. Vacation days are OFF, I'll mark them with a V. Weekends are included in the plan, no exemptions.
4) Print out a calendar for each goal and label it with that goal. Done. Ready. I'm about to hang them on the wall as soon as I finish this post.
5) Buy a fat red marker. This does not really make any difference to me. I have a million pens and pencils, I think I will like to see a multi-colored calendar.
"Your plan should be so easy that very little can get in the way of your daily progress, so if you're not ready to start tomorrow then you need to go back and figure out how to make your plan simple enough to do so. This process works because it creates good work habits, doesn't require much of you, demonstrates your progress visually every day, and makes you feel incredibly accomplished and productive despite only working for a short period of time."
I'll go hang some calendars. Wish me good luck, I'll let you know how it goes.
mercoledì 2 maggio 2012
martedì 1 maggio 2012
MISS INFORMATION
Dear Miss Information,
I'm a twenty-nine-year-old woman. I'm a virgin and I've never really been kissed. Most people out there have given me endless tips on finding "The One." But I don't want to get married. I just want to get laid!
I have little to no sexual experience beyond a couple of frat-party dance-floor makeouts and one drunken high-school blowjob. I've never had a sexual experience with a man in bed. Vibrators and internet porn have been very good friends of mine. I dropped out of college when I was twenty and any and all momentum I had going stopped. I stayed in the same town and my self-esteem took a blow. There wasn't much traffic leading up to that, but at least there was a consistent pace. I admit I'm insecure and see that I have control issues, but I do meet single men and recently joined dating sites. I am a student again and have always been good at casual flirting.
But I get the same old advice: dress cute! Be confident! Make the first move! Okay, okay, okay, I get it. I make my own fate. But, seriously, I can't take it much longer! That strategy seems reasonable because people assume I'm just trying to get myself married. I mean, I'm twenty-nine —why would I be asking for tips on how to pop my cherry?
I've never had a man really want to kiss me, touch me, fuck me, and let me kiss, touch, fuck him. It would be ideal for an aggressive, direct man to appear and help me out, but that wish is just another delay tactic. It seems to me that getting a little action would validate me — for myself — as a person men want to sleep with. Should I just continue to dress cute and flirt and send emails on dating sites, hoping that one coffee date will lead to another and then eventually a tender evening under the sheets? Or should I head for the bars? Propose a little experimenting with someone I already know? Take out an ad on Craigslist?
Counseling for emotional baggage: done. Online-dating profile: done. Cleavage and lipstick: done. But what should I do now?
— Betty Boop
Dear Betty Boop,
It sounds like you've got a good grasp on this issue, and you've even got a solid dose of humor about yourself. Gold stars on gold stars. So here's my question for you: are you enjoying any of this? If you're not, jettison it. Push-up bra digging into your ribs? Give it to Goodwill. Lipstick drying out your lips? Trash can. Find the internal compass buried underneath the advice chatter, and go with that. Ultimately, you can pick up men anywhere. If the bar scene feels like a slog, or a bass-thumping means to an end, don't waste your time there. Hang out where you want to hang out, and talk to people you want to talk to (regardless of whether or not you also want to bang them). That authenticity will take you farther than tequila shots.
Now, let's come back to this "low self-esteem" business. Self-esteem is not necessary for getting laid, but it is necessary for attracting the kind of people you want to get laid with. Take this line: "A little action would validate me... as a person men want to sleep with." I get the validation issues, for sure, but "I'm not worth sleeping with" is the kind of message that seeps from your pores, meaning even interested guys might sense it and turn away. You also say you've never had a guy want to be with you, which seems like an issue of perception (i.e. how you remember the event) rather than reality. You're in counseling to work on the self-esteem, which is great; now set your sights higher. You deserve an honest connection.
Because you asked, here's the secret to getting a guy to do you, courtesy of my friend Sam, who was reading over my shoulder: "Stick your tongue down his throat and say, 'Want to come back to my place?'" (Sam is a national treasure.) Let me add some nuance to his point. Getting any guy into bed isn't really the hard part. Getting what you need from the interaction is. Actual validation — the lasting, worthwhile kind — comes from respect, not just attention. Shift your search away from "warm-blooded male," and start looking for "a guy who respects me and wants to do me." Everybody deserves to have someone around whom they feel safe and comfortable. Setting these standards does not mean you're seeking marriage; it means you think well of yourself. That's the kind of message you want to telegraph.
I'm a twenty-nine-year-old woman. I'm a virgin and I've never really been kissed. Most people out there have given me endless tips on finding "The One." But I don't want to get married. I just want to get laid!
I have little to no sexual experience beyond a couple of frat-party dance-floor makeouts and one drunken high-school blowjob. I've never had a sexual experience with a man in bed. Vibrators and internet porn have been very good friends of mine. I dropped out of college when I was twenty and any and all momentum I had going stopped. I stayed in the same town and my self-esteem took a blow. There wasn't much traffic leading up to that, but at least there was a consistent pace. I admit I'm insecure and see that I have control issues, but I do meet single men and recently joined dating sites. I am a student again and have always been good at casual flirting.
But I get the same old advice: dress cute! Be confident! Make the first move! Okay, okay, okay, I get it. I make my own fate. But, seriously, I can't take it much longer! That strategy seems reasonable because people assume I'm just trying to get myself married. I mean, I'm twenty-nine —why would I be asking for tips on how to pop my cherry?
I've never had a man really want to kiss me, touch me, fuck me, and let me kiss, touch, fuck him. It would be ideal for an aggressive, direct man to appear and help me out, but that wish is just another delay tactic. It seems to me that getting a little action would validate me — for myself — as a person men want to sleep with. Should I just continue to dress cute and flirt and send emails on dating sites, hoping that one coffee date will lead to another and then eventually a tender evening under the sheets? Or should I head for the bars? Propose a little experimenting with someone I already know? Take out an ad on Craigslist?
Counseling for emotional baggage: done. Online-dating profile: done. Cleavage and lipstick: done. But what should I do now?
— Betty Boop
Dear Betty Boop,
It sounds like you've got a good grasp on this issue, and you've even got a solid dose of humor about yourself. Gold stars on gold stars. So here's my question for you: are you enjoying any of this? If you're not, jettison it. Push-up bra digging into your ribs? Give it to Goodwill. Lipstick drying out your lips? Trash can. Find the internal compass buried underneath the advice chatter, and go with that. Ultimately, you can pick up men anywhere. If the bar scene feels like a slog, or a bass-thumping means to an end, don't waste your time there. Hang out where you want to hang out, and talk to people you want to talk to (regardless of whether or not you also want to bang them). That authenticity will take you farther than tequila shots.
Now, let's come back to this "low self-esteem" business. Self-esteem is not necessary for getting laid, but it is necessary for attracting the kind of people you want to get laid with. Take this line: "A little action would validate me... as a person men want to sleep with." I get the validation issues, for sure, but "I'm not worth sleeping with" is the kind of message that seeps from your pores, meaning even interested guys might sense it and turn away. You also say you've never had a guy want to be with you, which seems like an issue of perception (i.e. how you remember the event) rather than reality. You're in counseling to work on the self-esteem, which is great; now set your sights higher. You deserve an honest connection.
Because you asked, here's the secret to getting a guy to do you, courtesy of my friend Sam, who was reading over my shoulder: "Stick your tongue down his throat and say, 'Want to come back to my place?'" (Sam is a national treasure.) Let me add some nuance to his point. Getting any guy into bed isn't really the hard part. Getting what you need from the interaction is. Actual validation — the lasting, worthwhile kind — comes from respect, not just attention. Shift your search away from "warm-blooded male," and start looking for "a guy who respects me and wants to do me." Everybody deserves to have someone around whom they feel safe and comfortable. Setting these standards does not mean you're seeking marriage; it means you think well of yourself. That's the kind of message you want to telegraph.
lunedì 16 aprile 2012
LA RICETTA DELLA SETTIMANA
 |
| this is how it looked like on the site |
Sounded fresher on the paper (lemon + ginger).
I have definetly put tooo many spices!!!
Still, approved!
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